No Cake-Walk

On child-birthing class:

Annie: And maybe you can meet some other new dads and make friends.

Me: I'm going to treat this like prison: I've gotta either kick someone's ass or become someone's bitch on the first day.

Half-Empty

If you've played any Mario game in the past 6 years, you're well familiar with the phrase "It's-a me, Mario!" If you've played Mario Kart, you may be familiar with Mario's brother's call: "I'm-a Luigi, I'm-a gonna win!" Given how many times I've lost while playing as Luigi, I've co-opted that phrase as such: "I'm-a Luigi, I'm-a gonna lose!" Well, Annie has her own take on it:

Annie: "I'm-a Luigi, I'm-a gonna die!"

A New Brew

So, with the pregnancy and all, obviously Annie can't drink. But I can. I try to be sensitive and not drink beers she likes, but the other day, I found a Sam Summer in the back of the fridge. Not thinking, I grabbed it and started drinking. Annie saw me, and was not pleased.

Annie: Honey, that's not fair! You can't drink Sam Summer in front of me!

Me: I'm sorry, but honey, wait...

I retreated to the kitchen, and moments later, returned:

Me: It's not a Sam Summer, it's a Samuel Badams Stupid Ale!