Ed's Law #2

Idiot law: Everyone is an idiot until you get to know them, and then sometimes they're still an idiot.

I actually tried to prove this logically once, but instead proved that grass is blue, so my logic might've been flawed.

3rd Degree Excitement

All this week I've been going back and forth with the customer support rep of a 3rd-party software tool we use at work, trying to get it to work right. Basically, every other time I (or my coworkers) would try to run the project we're building, it would crash. Very frustrating. We finally get it working. The rep's response to my half-facetious reply almost killed me [emphasis added]:

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Original message sent on 01/18/2007 at 14:56:38 by @.com:

Thanks Allen! I'm very excited to be able to compile without random
crashes!

-Ed

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Original message sent on 01/18/2007 at 15:17:00 by Allen Smith:

Hi Ed,

Thank you for sharing your excitement with me.

Even I am also excited to be able to bring the smile on your face. Should I consider the issue resolved or you need any further assistance from my side?

Sincerely,
Allen Smith

Tag Team for relationship bashing

Here are two funny moments, both involving my fiance (Annie) and I, taking turns being the funny one.

My coworker, Ben, mentioned that one of his roommates is a pirate by profession. Yes, a pirate. Well, I guess a pirate actor. He is hired by people to put on pirate acts, swordfights, and general swashbuckling. I explain this to Annie, and she says entirely without sarcasm or humor: "Is he single?"

I had to return the favor. Driving back from my friend's place on Sunday night, I apparently forgot to do something or other. I admitted it to Annie, then said: "Obviously, I'm an idiot, but I love you."

Recursive: adj. see recursive

My recursive New Year's Resolution:

"My only New Year's resolution is to not break my New Year's resolution this year."

Math is why I'm a slacker

Brent: Maybe I need to put in a negative number.
Ed: put in nullity
Brent: Heh.
Brent: Thanks.
Ed: Anytime.

Damnit Jim, I'm an engineer, not a doctor!

I made the best gingerbread house ever! Annie worked with me for a while, but before we had the first floor walls completed, she had to quit because it was almost midnight. So I labored on and completed this masterpiece!

Note the red M&M above the door, welcoming visitors.

You can see some spare building supplies in the front right.

The back wall could use a little work, but that should be hidden most of the time.

All in all, a beautiful house.

Adventures in Anger

Ed: There is only one time I've been more angry, and that was in college when a girl I was totally disinterested in who was obsessed with me was telling her hot sorority sisters (and pretty much every girl she could find) to stay away from me, that I was her turf
Brent: Ha ha.
Brent: That's a great story.
Ed: great for you
Ed: not so great for Ed circa-2003

Mathematics at its Best

I was talking with Eric about turning age 18, and he said he bought lottery tickets.  I suggested it would've been awesome if he'd won a billion dollars. He stated that he had.

Eric: "But the zero sum amount was zero."
me: "Well of course it was. The zero-sum amount is always zero."

Not me

Walking to lunch with my coworkers, we passed a restaurant named "Whiskey's." One girl says "I love Whiskey's." A homeless person we were just passing responded: "Everyone loves whiskey!"

What's the captial of Singapore?

So my boss is named Ed too, which is interesting. As with anyone I ask for help/clarification at work, I try to figure out my problem and make sure I'm not missing the obvious before I actually ask. I also try to group a few requests together so as to save the other person time. After reading over my questions to make sure I didn't miss anything stupid (as I'm still pretty new here), I sent off the email. Here is my synopsis of the interaction, in graphical form:

(for those of you technically inclined, yes that is the SQL Server Query Analyzer.)
(Also, my boss, who is like a billion times better than my old boss, was not mean at all about it. I just felt like a retard.)