Exploration

Me: I have like 50 tabs open from all of this exploration
Me: if only i had time to distill the information into a blog post
Dan: /--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\/--\
Me: what?
Dan: 50 tabs. graphic rep.

On Secret Identities

[watching The Incredibles, when Helen gives her kids masks]
Me: You know, it's ridiculous that they think a tiny mask that covers only the area around the eyes would actually protect their identities. I mean, it's obvious who they are with the masks on.
Annie: [nods]
Me: Then again, all Clark Kent had to do was take off his glasses.

The Work of a Senior Developer is Never Done

Ed: problem solved.
Derek: How'd you do it?
Ed: 1) removed coveo DLLs from teh build, 2) logged onto dev01 and removed all the coveo dlls from the bin folder
Derek: Congrats: You really are a Coveo master.
Ed: lol
Ed: problem: coveo not working. solution: remove coveo
Derek: Almost Zen-like.
Ed: How can you have a problem with Coveo if you don't even have Coveo?
Derek: Lolz.

It's True

Mia at the market with mom: "I like cookies. I like Mama. Daddy likes peanut butter."

Getting Ready for Mass Effect 3

Jason: I managed to keep everyone except Miranda
Jason: haha
Jason: he's awesome =D
Ed: LOL losing miranda
Ed: HAHAHAHAHAH
Jason: I know
Ed: fuck that bitch
Jason: the hottest chick in the game =)
Jason: figures
Ed: no way
Ed: tali is hottest
Jason: lol
Ed: Tali 4 lyfe
Jason: she is pretty cute, I'll give you that =D
Ed: I totally had intimate relations with that quarian
Jason: lol
Jason: but you didn't inhale
Ed: I launched my flotilla if you know what I mean

Gee, I'm a Tree!

Ed: so let me get all my chickens in line
Ed: or ducks in a row
Ed: or whatever the avian metaphor is

For Science!

"I'm just a dude, but science is probably right."

Forward Thinking

me: oh lol
me: look what I found
me: "string pattern = "200*.*"; // just this millenium, thanks"
me: its our 2k10 bug
me: I have no idea what that code does
me: but it doesn't anymore

[note: this conversation and code is from 2008]

Now With Less Stuff

Kristina: Hey, check out this chocolate bar! It's infused with air bubbles so it's lighter and more airy!
Me: So you paid the same amount for less chocolate?
Kristina: ... you just ruined my candy bar.

Owls are Old School

Ed: if harry potter live-tweeted the events of the goblet of fire, then fudge et al would have believed that voldemort was back, and shit would have been different
Ed: @TheChildWhoLivesLarge: Sweet, the Wizard's Cup. o wait, brb gt save @diggertous
Ed: @TheChildWhoLivesLarge: OK we're gonna touch the cup together #bffs
Ed: @TheChildWhoLivesLarge: oh fuck, it was a portkey, wtf are we
Ed: @TheChildWhoLivesLarge: brb @diggertous is ded, gt save myself
Ed: @TheChildWhoLivesLarge: oh noes, @scabbers is resurrecting @deathtomuggles #thisisnotgood

The Circle Is Complete

CrazyAl90: where did dogs come from?
edgesmash[work]: puppies
CrazyAl90: where do puppies come from?
got_milk: dogs

Extrapolation from Dentistry

Joe: it takes the goddamned machine about 5 minutes to boot up completely, even after removing a whole bunch of crap from Vista's startup routine.
Ed: Vista?
Ed: VISTA!?!
Ed: why don't you have 7 yet?
Ed: do you need me to get you a key?
Ed: I can buy an educational key probably with my email address for tufts
Ed: $30 for Win7 pro
Ed: do it
Ed: do it
Ed: do it
Ed: don't do it
Ed: do it
Joe: (*&$P(@*UJSHDFL:SKDJF seriously?
Joe: HEY
Joe: I SAW THAT
Ed: 4 out of 5 chat messages say "do it"

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

Joe: Occam's razor works in logic as well as software development
Joe: all things being equal, the simplest solution is the most correct.
Ed: Occam's Razor is kind of a tautology.
Joe: is not
Ed: is too
Joe: is not
Ed: is too
Ed: QED
Joe: SON OF A BITCH
Ed: loool
Joe: SUDO IS NOT

JOSE LOPEZ

Ed: who is your 2b
Joe: Jose Lopez.
Ed: the problem with drafting Jose Lopez is that you end up with Jose Lopez on your team
Ed: and you can never trade Jose Lopez because he's not sexy.
Ed: and you can't really drop Jose Lopez because he hit that home run not too long ago and he might hit one again.

New Infants Are Funny

[Mia gives me a funny look]
Me: Don't look at me like that! I love you!

Total Horsehockey

Brent: what % juice are they?

Ed: one was 50, one was 10

Ed: cranberry and then some sort of apple/mango/pineapple hybrid shit

Brent: that's bullshit

Ed: agreed

I Can Haz Physics

Mom: Put down that balloon and help!

Dad: I can't put it down, it only goes up!

No Cake-Walk

On child-birthing class:

Annie: And maybe you can meet some other new dads and make friends.

Me: I'm going to treat this like prison: I've gotta either kick someone's ass or become someone's bitch on the first day.

Half-Empty

If you've played any Mario game in the past 6 years, you're well familiar with the phrase "It's-a me, Mario!" If you've played Mario Kart, you may be familiar with Mario's brother's call: "I'm-a Luigi, I'm-a gonna win!" Given how many times I've lost while playing as Luigi, I've co-opted that phrase as such: "I'm-a Luigi, I'm-a gonna lose!" Well, Annie has her own take on it:

Annie: "I'm-a Luigi, I'm-a gonna die!"

A New Brew

So, with the pregnancy and all, obviously Annie can't drink. But I can. I try to be sensitive and not drink beers she likes, but the other day, I found a Sam Summer in the back of the fridge. Not thinking, I grabbed it and started drinking. Annie saw me, and was not pleased.

Annie: Honey, that's not fair! You can't drink Sam Summer in front of me!

Me: I'm sorry, but honey, wait...

I retreated to the kitchen, and moments later, returned:

Me: It's not a Sam Summer, it's a Samuel Badams Stupid Ale!