Aiming High

Ed: are you president yet?

Joe: working on it.

Ed: come on man

Ed: I can't wait for you to be prez and to call you and be like "Sup Mr. President"

Ed: its gonna be so much fun when you are president

Ed: "President Bodell"

Ed: lol

Ed: Hell, even "Senator Bodell" has a great ring to it

Ed: "Governor Bodell"

Ed: "Judge Bodell"

Ed: "Principal Bodell"

Joe: "Trash collector Bodell"

Ed: "Inmate 29572"

I Don't Think That's How the Phrase Goes

"When you assume, you put me up your ass." -Annie

It's All in the Name

Ed: Eric: the nutrageous bar you gave me is saving my life right now

Ed: my hunger level was over 9000

Brent: now where is it?

Ed: 4

Brent: that's NUTRAGEOUS!

Culinary Delights

Me: I have enough on my plate, this is for you to organize.

Brian: i thought you always cleaned your plate

Me: nope

Brian: what if there was bacon on it

Me: how much bacon?

Brian: 23 bacon units

Me: what is the conversion from bacon units to 8"x1" strips of bacon?

Brian: wouldnt you like to know

Instant Laughs

Eric: Your registration of ohnoyourmoney.com for 1 year has been "processed."

Eric: er

Eric: quotes were meant around the whole thing, not the last word

Me: lol

Me: oh yeah, we 'processed' that order all right

John: some guy named reggie threw it in a pile

John: then went to lunch

Me: Oh that Reggie! /hands on hips

Me: /audience laffs

Food Products for 200, Alex

Me: I haven't even eaten all the first set of playdoh
Brian: yet!
Brian: maybe ill give you some bacon salt to season it with
Me: and baconaise?
Brian: no, i fear for your health
Me: really? even with my newfound focus on real foods and exercise?
Brian: that is all +3 health
Brian: baconaise is +20 death

On Categories

Brian: ahmeninejad got twitter
Brian: you should subscribe
Me: maybe
Brian: its probably something like "all is well, believe in allahs plan"
Me: put him in my "celebrity" group along with Wil Wheaton
Brian: they are similar
Me: totally

Convervation of Mass and Energy

Leah: and once Joba gets on the mound this weekend, your ERA and WHIP will be sunk
Me: nuh uh Joba is the king
Leah: oh yeah? just like the yankees other two aces that are #1 and #2 in the rotation?
Me: Hey it's april, they're just getting warmed up
Leah: a man as heavy as sabathia shouldn't need warming up
Me: Are you kidding me? He's like a war machine, takes a crew of 5 to get him ready
Leah: he's got plenty of insulation from all those cheeseburgers he's been eating in the off season
Me: Well you need a lot of cheeseburgers to be that awesome

Alternative Means of Payment

The following conversation took place over Twitter direct messages:

Jason: PS, you still on for drinks tonight? 6/6:30?
Me: Of course dawg!
Me: dood what's your phone number?
Jason: 617-123-4567
Jason: but you may only call it if you're not going to bail
Me: What if I needed to get bailed out of jail?
Jason: Do they take nickels?
Me: We'll find out!

We then proceeded to get yelled at by an old guy at the restaurant who thought we sweared (swore?) too much. Good times.

Speeling

Me: not enough time to go out to baqck bay
Brent: I assume that's Klingon for Back Bay
Me: come on, the "q" is right next to the "a"
Brent: the fingers you have used, are too fat
Brent: to obtain a special dialing wand, please mash your keypad now
Me: wedfkp;ocseam,kcsea
Brent: osceam to you too sir
Me: osceam or ocseam?
Brent: shit didn't mean to misspell your misspelled word
Me: yeah get it rihgt