This Actually Happened.

Dad: Wow!
Mom: What? [silence] What?!
Me: He probably just found cookies or something.
Dad: Check it out, cookies!

It's Not All About the Weather

me: remember last year's disaster?
Darcelle J.: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix?
me: ZING!
Darcelle J.: CHOCHANG

Mmmm Steak

Joe: so we're approaching the end of a medium-size kitchen remodel.
Me: I read that as "so we're approaching the end of a medium-size steak"

It's Amazing How It Works Like That

**Dec 8 4:45 PM **
Ed: whoa when did it become 4:45
Ed: about 1 minute ago?
John: yes!

Clarity

Brian: you've had a raptor, right?
Me: the hard drive? yes
Me: the dinosaur, no.

It's Like Dragon Heart

John L.: BOLD
John L.: I admire your courage. I think I will eat your heart.
Ed S.: no please don't I need my heart to pump blood and to love

Turkey or Regular?

Brian: hmm... wish i had thought of that
Brian: a bacon bible... nice
Me: is that a bible made of bacon or a book containing all the knowledge in the world about bacon
Me: because either is cool

Happy Turkey Day!

Kristina: This is my friend. [points to Facebook page]

Me: He looks cool.
Mom: He finished high school.

Me: [laughs]

Kristina: That's right! No GED shit for him! 

---

More family moments to come!

How Many Times Has This Happened to You?

Ed: hey, I got the info from Dave, working on it now, but I need to query DBLIVE to get the paymentIDs for the script... I don't have a user/pass that works for QA2
Jim: does orange/orange* get you there?
Ed: nope
Jim: k. give me a sec
Ed: k thanks
Jim: try banana/banana*
Jim: be careful. its read/write
Ed: ding
Ed: ok I will
Ed: drop database;
Ed: oops wrong window
Jim: f' you

*Passwords changed obviously.

I Could Have Complained Less

Ed S.: I hate how people show up late to conference calls
Naz T.: :(
Ed S.: 1:34 start time for 1:30 call
Barack S.: THAT'S 4 MINUTES OF INTERNET BROWSING DOWN THE DRAIN!
Naz T.: yeah how many reddit comments could i make. like 30 loaves
Barack S.: I could convert 10 farmers to Elvi in that time
Naz T.: I could get Subservient Chicken to put the sandwich on his head
Barack S.: I could perform a 58 hit ULTRA combo
Naz T.: I could buy a Toyota with 0% financing and pay nothing til January 2009
Barack S.: I could bust rhymes that flow like phosphorous, poppin off da top o dis esophagus, rockin dis metropolis
Naz T.: I could walk into a Burger King, discreetly use their bathroom, and walk out without buying anything
Barack S.: I could have been a contender
Ed S.: I could have been off the call 4 minutes earlier
Naz T.: calls calls calls, calls from the public
Naz T.: calls calls calls calls
Barack S.: I could walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more just to be the man who walked 1,000 miles to fall down at your dawn
Barack S. : *door
Naz T.: Nicely done
Ed S.: Barack wins