I'll Have a Funglandectomy

Annie and I went out to dinner tonight, and I generally acted like a big goofball. When the check came, I had trouble calculating the tip. I paid with a credit card, so I actually had to do math on the receipt. I wanted to try that new idea where you make the cents digit equal to some checksum to prevent tip fraud, but instead I just couldn't do math.

"It's like my funny gland is overriding my math center," I said. "I try to do two plus three and I get smiley face."

Yeah, I Said It.

I was playing some Halo 3 online the other night and got invited to play with a group of people. These three guys were all friends from their hometown who were at college, using Halo to stay connected. Cool. Also, being undergrads, they were not short with the "mom" jokes and whatnot. After about an hour playing with them, I decided to join the bandwagon. When my character was killed in a particularly brutal way, I said "Man, I just got boned worse than Billy's mom."

Silence.

"Hey, I'm just trying to fit in," I offered. I got possibly the best reply ever: "It's easy to fit into Billy's mom."