Flavortastic

Waitress: How does the sauce taste?
Ed: It tastes like delicious!

Time Machine

Ed: or you could get back and party like it's 2003
Joe: jesus
Joe: that would be scary

Aye, It's My Island

I recently returned from Ireland; I was there for a wedding. The first day, Shaun, the Irish groom, took me to the grocery store to get some food and supplies. Since we were living in university dorm rooms, this would be the food we would live off of for a few days. I wanted to get some real food but also some snacks, so I got a tube of Pringles and a mega-pack of Kit-Kats.

Well, I turned into a Kit-Kat peddler for the whole trip... anytime anyone had any problem, I'd be like "Have a Kit-Kat, that'll make it better." But no one wanted them, so I ended up eating the whole bag... not a good idea.

Mirror Mirror

Ed S.: I bought deli meats at shaws
Ed S.: and made myself sandwiches
Ed S.: delicious, though expensive... downtown shaws has no basic meats
Ed S.: had to buy Shaws Tender Cracked Basil Smoked Whiskey Turkey
Eric M.: aw
Ed S.: which tastes just like regular turkey, only more expensive
Ed S.: plus the server was stupid... I kept asking for 1 pound
Ed S.: and he was like "quarter pound?"
Ed S.: NO ONE WHOLE POUND
Ed S.: it was like a different shaws
Eric M.: hahahaha
Eric M.: Evil Shaw's
Eric M.: Shaw's + Goatee
Ed S.: at home I'll go up, they'll call "28" and I'll be like "right here, hi" and they're like "Hi what can I get for you"
Ed S.: here it was like "29" and the guy just said "quarter pound smoked honey turkey"
Ed S.: I was like "whoa where's the love?"
Ed S.: then a old lady whacked me with her cane