Getting Ready for Mass Effect 3

Jason: I managed to keep everyone except Miranda
Jason: haha
Jason: he's awesome =D
Ed: LOL losing miranda
Ed: HAHAHAHAHAH
Jason: I know
Ed: fuck that bitch
Jason: the hottest chick in the game =)
Jason: figures
Ed: no way
Ed: tali is hottest
Jason: lol
Ed: Tali 4 lyfe
Jason: she is pretty cute, I'll give you that =D
Ed: I totally had intimate relations with that quarian
Jason: lol
Jason: but you didn't inhale
Ed: I launched my flotilla if you know what I mean

Gee, I'm a Tree!

Ed: so let me get all my chickens in line
Ed: or ducks in a row
Ed: or whatever the avian metaphor is

For Science!

"I'm just a dude, but science is probably right."

Forward Thinking

me: oh lol
me: look what I found
me: "string pattern = "200*.*"; // just this millenium, thanks"
me: its our 2k10 bug
me: I have no idea what that code does
me: but it doesn't anymore

[note: this conversation and code is from 2008]

Now With Less Stuff

Kristina: Hey, check out this chocolate bar! It's infused with air bubbles so it's lighter and more airy!
Me: So you paid the same amount for less chocolate?
Kristina: ... you just ruined my candy bar.

Owls are Old School

Ed: if harry potter live-tweeted the events of the goblet of fire, then fudge et al would have believed that voldemort was back, and shit would have been different
Ed: @TheChildWhoLivesLarge: Sweet, the Wizard's Cup. o wait, brb gt save @diggertous
Ed: @TheChildWhoLivesLarge: OK we're gonna touch the cup together #bffs
Ed: @TheChildWhoLivesLarge: oh fuck, it was a portkey, wtf are we
Ed: @TheChildWhoLivesLarge: brb @diggertous is ded, gt save myself
Ed: @TheChildWhoLivesLarge: oh noes, @scabbers is resurrecting @deathtomuggles #thisisnotgood

The Circle Is Complete

CrazyAl90: where did dogs come from?
edgesmash[work]: puppies
CrazyAl90: where do puppies come from?
got_milk: dogs

Extrapolation from Dentistry

Joe: it takes the goddamned machine about 5 minutes to boot up completely, even after removing a whole bunch of crap from Vista's startup routine.
Ed: Vista?
Ed: VISTA!?!
Ed: why don't you have 7 yet?
Ed: do you need me to get you a key?
Ed: I can buy an educational key probably with my email address for tufts
Ed: $30 for Win7 pro
Ed: do it
Ed: do it
Ed: do it
Ed: don't do it
Ed: do it
Joe: (*&$P(@*UJSHDFL:SKDJF seriously?
Joe: HEY
Joe: I SAW THAT
Ed: 4 out of 5 chat messages say "do it"

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

Joe: Occam's razor works in logic as well as software development
Joe: all things being equal, the simplest solution is the most correct.
Ed: Occam's Razor is kind of a tautology.
Joe: is not
Ed: is too
Joe: is not
Ed: is too
Ed: QED
Joe: SON OF A BITCH
Ed: loool
Joe: SUDO IS NOT

JOSE LOPEZ

Ed: who is your 2b
Joe: Jose Lopez.
Ed: the problem with drafting Jose Lopez is that you end up with Jose Lopez on your team
Ed: and you can never trade Jose Lopez because he's not sexy.
Ed: and you can't really drop Jose Lopez because he hit that home run not too long ago and he might hit one again.