Extrapolation from Dentistry

Joe: it takes the goddamned machine about 5 minutes to boot up completely, even after removing a whole bunch of crap from Vista's startup routine.
Ed: Vista?
Ed: VISTA!?!
Ed: why don't you have 7 yet?
Ed: do you need me to get you a key?
Ed: I can buy an educational key probably with my email address for tufts
Ed: $30 for Win7 pro
Ed: do it
Ed: do it
Ed: do it
Ed: don't do it
Ed: do it
Joe: (*&$P(@*UJSHDFL:SKDJF seriously?
Joe: HEY
Joe: I SAW THAT
Ed: 4 out of 5 chat messages say "do it"

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

Joe: Occam's razor works in logic as well as software development
Joe: all things being equal, the simplest solution is the most correct.
Ed: Occam's Razor is kind of a tautology.
Joe: is not
Ed: is too
Joe: is not
Ed: is too
Ed: QED
Joe: SON OF A BITCH
Ed: loool
Joe: SUDO IS NOT

JOSE LOPEZ

Ed: who is your 2b
Joe: Jose Lopez.
Ed: the problem with drafting Jose Lopez is that you end up with Jose Lopez on your team
Ed: and you can never trade Jose Lopez because he's not sexy.
Ed: and you can't really drop Jose Lopez because he hit that home run not too long ago and he might hit one again.

New Infants Are Funny

[Mia gives me a funny look]
Me: Don't look at me like that! I love you!

Total Horsehockey

Brent: what % juice are they?

Ed: one was 50, one was 10

Ed: cranberry and then some sort of apple/mango/pineapple hybrid shit

Brent: that's bullshit

Ed: agreed

I Can Haz Physics

Mom: Put down that balloon and help!

Dad: I can't put it down, it only goes up!

No Cake-Walk

On child-birthing class:

Annie: And maybe you can meet some other new dads and make friends.

Me: I'm going to treat this like prison: I've gotta either kick someone's ass or become someone's bitch on the first day.

Half-Empty

If you've played any Mario game in the past 6 years, you're well familiar with the phrase "It's-a me, Mario!" If you've played Mario Kart, you may be familiar with Mario's brother's call: "I'm-a Luigi, I'm-a gonna win!" Given how many times I've lost while playing as Luigi, I've co-opted that phrase as such: "I'm-a Luigi, I'm-a gonna lose!" Well, Annie has her own take on it:

Annie: "I'm-a Luigi, I'm-a gonna die!"

A New Brew

So, with the pregnancy and all, obviously Annie can't drink. But I can. I try to be sensitive and not drink beers she likes, but the other day, I found a Sam Summer in the back of the fridge. Not thinking, I grabbed it and started drinking. Annie saw me, and was not pleased.

Annie: Honey, that's not fair! You can't drink Sam Summer in front of me!

Me: I'm sorry, but honey, wait...

I retreated to the kitchen, and moments later, returned:

Me: It's not a Sam Summer, it's a Samuel Badams Stupid Ale!