Instant Laughs

Eric: Your registration of ohnoyourmoney.com for 1 year has been "processed."

Eric: er

Eric: quotes were meant around the whole thing, not the last word

Me: lol

Me: oh yeah, we 'processed' that order all right

John: some guy named reggie threw it in a pile

John: then went to lunch

Me: Oh that Reggie! /hands on hips

Me: /audience laffs

I Could Have Complained Less

Ed S.: I hate how people show up late to conference calls
Naz T.: :(
Ed S.: 1:34 start time for 1:30 call
Barack S.: THAT'S 4 MINUTES OF INTERNET BROWSING DOWN THE DRAIN!
Naz T.: yeah how many reddit comments could i make. like 30 loaves
Barack S.: I could convert 10 farmers to Elvi in that time
Naz T.: I could get Subservient Chicken to put the sandwich on his head
Barack S.: I could perform a 58 hit ULTRA combo
Naz T.: I could buy a Toyota with 0% financing and pay nothing til January 2009
Barack S.: I could bust rhymes that flow like phosphorous, poppin off da top o dis esophagus, rockin dis metropolis
Naz T.: I could walk into a Burger King, discreetly use their bathroom, and walk out without buying anything
Barack S.: I could have been a contender
Ed S.: I could have been off the call 4 minutes earlier
Naz T.: calls calls calls, calls from the public
Naz T.: calls calls calls calls
Barack S.: I could walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more just to be the man who walked 1,000 miles to fall down at your dawn
Barack S. : *door
Naz T.: Nicely done
Ed S.: Barack wins

A Play In Two Acts

EdToRights: hahahah
EdToRights: I'm tired
EdToRights: /casts osmose
EdToRights: /sucks -34 MP from John because John is undead
EdToRights: ACK
CompulsiveLarsenist: /Casts death on self
CompulsiveLarsenist: +9999 hp
EdToRights: Oh noes
EdToRights: /casts curaga on John
CompulsiveLarsenist: -9999 hp
CompulsiveLarsenist: My magic defense is 1 :(
EdToRights: :(
EdToRights: :)
EdToRights: OOh undead are vulnerable to fire
EdToRights: /casts fira
CompulsiveLarsenist: -5000 hp
CompulsiveLarsenist: ::Quick flashes of light::
CompulsiveLarsenist: URRRGGHHHH
CompulsiveLarsenist has left the room
GrandLarseny has entered the room
GrandLarseny: I am reborn!!!
EdToRights: /oh noes!
EdToRights: /casts fira
EdToRights: +5000 HP
EdToRights: noooooo
GrandLarseny: YES YES THAT'S IT!!
GrandLarseny: /casts Meteo
EdToRights: -9999HP
EdToRights: /KO
EdToRights has left the room
***ONLINE HOST*** has entered the room
***ONLINE HOST***: THE PARTY HAS FALLEN...
***ONLINE HOST***: /intro music
***ONLINE HOST***: /menu
***ONLINE HOST***: /load saved game
***ONLINE HOST***: /slot one
***ONLINE HOST***: /loading...
***ONLINE HOST*** has left the room
GrandLarseny has left the room
CompulsiveLarsenist has entered the room
EdToRights has entered the room
EdToRights: hahaha
EdToRights: I'm tired
EdToRights: /casts osmose
EdToRights: /sucks -34 MP from John because John is undead
EdToRights: ACK
CompulsiveLarsenist: /casts death on self
CompulsiveLarsenist: +9999 hp
EdToRights: oh noes!
EdToRights: /casts curaga on John
CompulsiveLarsenist: -9999 hp
CompulsiveLarsenist: My magic defense is 1 :(
EdToRights: :(
EdToRights: :)
EdToRights: OOh undead are vulnerable to fire
EdToRights: /casts fira
CompulsiveLarsenist: -5000 hp
CompulsiveLarsenist: ::Quick flashes of light::
CompulsiveLarsenist: URRRGGHHHH
CompulsiveLarsenist has left the room
GrandLarseny has entered the room
GrandLarseny: I am reborn!!
EdToRights: /oh noes
EdToRights: /uses crystal
GrandLarseny: What!! You're...!
EdToRights: That's right, I'm half mooninite
EdToRights: I can use the crystal
GrandLarseny: Noooooo!!
GrandLarseny: (GrandLarseny's elemental shield is destroyed!)
EdToRights: The time is now!
GrandLarseny: IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER! (5 turns remaining)
EdToRights: /casts blizzaga
EdToRights: GuyMan: /casts flare
EdToRights: TokenWoman: /casts holy
EdToRights: DragoonDude: /jumps
GrandLarseny: NO NO NO OOOOOOOOOOO THIS SUCKS
GrandLarseny: ::totally explodes::
EdToRights: sweet
**ONLINE HOST***: /ending

Oh Come On!

John pointed this out to me.

Maybe next time you could do a little research?

Ed S.: It's amazing how adaptable humans are.
John L.: We've got to be.
John L.: Or we'd still be living in caves in Africa
Ed S.: well we kicked ass in evolution.
John L.: Yeah, we sure did!
Ed S.: fuck you, monkeys
Ed S.: see ya later neaderthals
John L.: Adaptability is so easy, a caveman can do it!

I was camping the spawns

John L.: Yeah, I'm concerned about the lore of the old peoples
Ed S.: I want that lorez
Ed S.: [Edgesmash has defeated Old Man] [Edgesmash gains loot: Lore]

Wordology

John L.: I forgot how to be productive
Ed S.: well you're in a situation that promotes unproductivity

It's A Two-Fer! (With Bonus Nonsensical Segue)

Ed S.: I heard it sucked. I also heard it's awesome. I also made both of those up.
John L.: well, Ed. One of those is what I heard, too.
Eric M.: :P
Ed S.: I bet it was the last one.
Ed S.: that I made them up
Ed S.: because I issued a press release to that effect
Eric M.: Hahaha
Ed S.: why did ebay buy stumbleupon?
Ed S.: TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

Evolution of a Movie Trailer

John L.: Assault with intent to kill
Marcus F.: Assault with intent to Mill
Marcus F.: Kill Mill?
Marcus F.: a new movie by James Cameron
John L.: THIS OCTOBER, EDWARD WILL KILL MILL
Marcus F.: about an enthusiastic rails developer
Marcus F.: who finds a deep secret
Marcus F.: "Oh my god... so that means.... Rails is written in Cobol!"
Marcus F.: in his journey, he learns more about himself than he thought possible
Marcus F.: "Hmmm... I don't like chocolate crepes as much as I expected."
John L.: You didn't really think Capistrano was going to be easy, did you?
Marcus F.: He faces the greatest evil of this generation
Marcus F.: "Damnit, my FTP server is down."
John L.: Just type in everything by hand! If you want to transfer files like a dog, I'll make you live like a dog!

Management 101

John: this is something the client just happened upon a bug in code that's existed since 2004
Ed: damn, that's annoying... a 2-year old bug that's all of a sudden URGENT
John: I know. Ridiculous
Ed: HOLY FUCKNUTS THE CODE IS BORKED QUICK FIX IT YESTERDAY ARGH /aneurysm

For the Children

John L.: making the world a better place
John L.: for you and for me and the entire human race
Marcus F.: yep
Marcus F.: world += 1

5) XP was taken

Marcus F.: I'm trying a new naming convention on this screen
Marcus F.: I read it online somewhere
Marcus F.: prefacing all controls with "ux"
Marcus F.: for user experience
Marcus F.: two reasons
Marcus F.: one: you know what they are
Marcus F.: but more importantly, 2) they appear together in intellisense
John L.: 3.) Uxbridge, MA
Marcus F.: sure
John L.: 4.) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xuxa
Marcus F.: stop

Gitmo, Massachusetts

John: I just got asked my a couple people if "I heard it was okay to leave"
Ed: that's like the 15-minute rule in high school
Ed: it's bullshit
Ed: No it's not fucking ok to leave
Ed: you work 9-5
Ed: YOU GET OUT OF THAT CHAIR AND I WILL SODOMIZE YOU WITH OUR FILE SERVER