Two short stories

I just decided not to tell the first story because it's not appropriate. Sorry guys.

Second short story: After a lunch meeting at work today, I was talking to a few coworkers. I had to sneeze, so I turned away and sneezed, covering my mouth with my hand/forearm. I looked back at my friends and said, "I've got sneeze on my arm."

In unrelated news, I have taken a new new job (technically, a new old new job). So I'm back at the first job. Yay craziness.